Bigger Picture

There have been numerous times, maybe even more than I would like to admit, where I had an idea and failed to commit because I was too scared to even start. All the stories I was creating in my head restricted me from showing up. I have played small for long enough. I have done so many embarrassing things that I should have been more scared of and did that thing anyways. Why can’t I do that with things that are actually going to progress me forward? Reframing things is a great way to expand your opportunities! Long gone are the days when I say no to things that I know are going to construct a person who is constantly looking to invest in a growth mindset where excellence is always the goal Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and always assume that failure is not an option. Remember too that your definition of failure is contingent on whether or not you have a growth or fixed mindset. Why wait for shit to get better?! It might never happen if you just live your life all politely! You gotta be HUNGRY!!

95568330_553034385396736_8473734958711927091_nunderstand self quote

How many times have you said to someone, “You just don’t understand me, and you never will because you are not me.”? Or specifically during teenage years, “You don’t get it I need to do this because …. (fill in the blank).” One of the main things that I felt my family did not understand was my desire to go to school online to escape facing people that I just didn’t connect with in high school. The way I got my way was overdosing on Advil to get my parents attention that I was fucking miserable everyday going to school! First of all, my mind wasn’t learning anything because I just wasn’t focused. After being admitted to the hospital and a psych ward for a day I was released and out of school for almost 2 months before I started school online. At first I was doing my online classes at the school my brother worked at and actually is currently where I work at now! To make a long story short, I was not focused with online school either! It took me about 2 years to finish senior year of high school. I was leaving libraries where I was supposed to be doing schoolwork to go hang out with an older guy I met online. I later got pregnant and made a very difficult choice to get an abortion. The moral of the story is I experienced a lot of shit I could have avoided for sure, but I feel like my mindset back then was so concrete that a lesson needed to be learned no matter what. My adolescence years are filled with negative memories, but I am grateful that I am here now and growing from those mistakes. It took me a long time to get to some of the clarity that I have now in my life, but I am here! It’s not that I have arrived, it’s just that I have a better understanding of myself now more then ever before! I am proud of the woman I am! Not only do I understand myself better, but I understand the wisdom that other people were trying to integrate into my life. When you cannot hear yourself, the inner you, the road can seem very lonely and you can become so desperate for other people, complete strangers, to provide answers. Desperate people do desperate things. When you know better, you do better. Be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself because at the end of the day you are all you got, you’re the one that ultimately has the power!

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