happiness project day 6

Having fun is not always something we want to go out of our way to do. If we had an exhausting day at work, or we spent a lot of time getting errands done, fun is the last thing on our mind. However, studies show that people who do more fun things and make positive memories are happier than people who do not. If you have a hard time, like me, figuring out what is considered fun, you have no other choice, but to experiment and go on a discovery mission. I have a lot of things that I consider to be fun. Like going on a greyhound bus to San Diego, sky driving, camping, river rafting, going to poetry nights, participating in races. However, I have never done any of those things except camping, which I absolutely love. My main goal right now is to get out of my comfort zone and be an active participant in life. I understand that I have a lot of life to live, but I don’t have much time before I have some big responsibilities like having kids and owning a house. My boyfriend loves to collect video games he finds it fun to go to thrift stores to shop around for good deals on old vintage type games. While I love going with him on those excursions, I don’t really find it fun. It’s fun to see his excitement, but I really want to figure out what I love to do that excites me. Reading books definitely excites me, but that’s more of my quite time to myself. I do love disc golf which my wonderful boyfriend introduced me to. But again, I want to find something that excites me because I found a true and deep passion for it. I feel like I am missing out on the adventurous spirit I had when I was a little girl. Back in the day I was so adventurous I found myself getting cuts and bruises from exploring. Working with kids ignites a simplistic kid like spirit within me. That is how I want to live out my life.

How would I even begin to define fun? It happens when I am in a good mood and feel high in energy. I love going to the street fairs and be surrounded by people. Having in depth conversations with my father without getting to an argument is always super satisfying too. I love when my brothers come down because it means my family is together again. I love disc golf tournaments and playing on the same card as my boyfriend. I hate when we are not put on the same card because the whole point is doing something together with him. I love sleeping and not having to worry about going to the work the next day is always fun too. I like going through my books and find that its fun to walk into my room with stacks upon stacks of books. Fun is relative just like all things regarding the human experience. I suppose what I find fun others won’t find fun.

Finding friends isn’t something I am supper passionate about, but I guess it can be quite depressing at time. Especially, when my boyfriend goes out with his friends. I really want someone to talk to when I am confused, and I don’t want it to be a therapist lol. I want to have coffee and talk about girly things. I want to have someone to go to the movies with, go shopping, someone to give me hair and makeup tips.

This post is supposed to be fun to write, but its kind of depressing because its an area in my life I think a lot about. Sorry, in advance, but having fun is what I thought my life would be and it just hasn’t turned out that way. Instead, I stress about other things, people, and personal issues going on in my life. I guess you could say I am in the stage of asking myself “is this it?” Not sure if I mentioned it before in another post, but I am going to work really hard on not being a Debby downer. There are a lot of positives in my life and that’s what I got to focus on. I want to keep a gratitude journal, so that everyday I have no choice, but to write down some things that are going right in my life versus always focusing on what’s wrong.


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